On a Journey of a Natural High: The Weight Loss Journey of a Fashion Stylist (Pt.1)

MyCollage_0 (1)The Back Story…..

I didn’t realize that it has been a year since I have started my fashion blog. Boy, how time flies when your world is in a whirlwind of loss, excitement, disappointments and victories. I finally said that I have been putting this off for long enough, so I figured it was time to share part 1 of this growing process I have been going through.

So many people have been asking me what did I do to lose over 90 lbs in the last 2 years and what’s the story behind it. I have to admit that I have been quite lazy in writing this, but also not moved to write about it. I wanted to write this blog post when I was inspired to do so. Who wants to read an uninspired blog post? I don’t….. I am not sure where this blog post series is taking me, but I have to say that I am already feeling empowered.

I have always been a chubby kid. From the time I was in elementary to the beginning of my high school years. Yes, my weight got me teased and picked on, but it was never anything that crippled who I was. It was never was a hindrance because I was always confident, funny, and had a FABULOUS sense of style…..(yes I did). I never had a problem with getting boyfriends or dating in my adult life. So to me, life was good! 

“…diet and exercise wasn’t gonna work for me….needed instantaneous results”

My weight has been a struggle that I have battled with most of my life. I have tried every single detox, weight loss plan you can imagine. Just plain diet and exercise was not gonna cut it for me. I enjoyed eating carbs, sweets and anything else that was not good for me. I am the type of person that needs instantaneous results.

During college, I picked up so much weight. It was ridiculous. It seemed like it happened over night. I went to sleep and woke up  60 or 75 lbs heavier. That’s how quick it happened. You know how they say you will gain the “Freshman 15”, well I gained the “Freshman 60 or 75”. I can’t remember exactly how much weight I gained, but what I do remember is that I gained a whole lot of weight. Ughhhhhh!!! (depressing time)…..

College Days

College Days, Homecoming 2001

Fast-Forward……..

The last 5 years of my life have been some of the most difficult times  I have encountered in my adult life up until this point. From dealing with my mother suffering and later passing away from cancer a year ago to coping with ending my marriage, these last 2 years have been full of loss. 

“…like most emotional eaters do…If I was stressed, I ate”

During the course of dealing with this, I gained a lot of weight (once again) just from being depressed and finding comfort in food like most emotional eaters like me do. If I was stressed, I ate, If we had an argument I ate, If I got a bad report from the doctor concerning my mom, I ate. For any reason, happy or sad, I used food  or “Happy Hours” to submerge my emotions. Something had to change.

My Weight and My Fashion……..

Everyone knows that the fashion industry is built on image  and  unfortunately , it’s a harsh reality. You are always judged based on your appearance. I know this because I have been styling clients for the past 9 years and have always known that as a woman of a particular size (plus-size), I had to ALWAYS BRING IT. No PROBLEM. It’s what I do.

But then something started changing with me when I started blogging and attending events. I wasn’t happy with what I saw in the mirror. Now with loving clothes and playing dress up and that last thing that I needed was to start feeling insecure. And when I say insecure, I mean EXTREMELY insecure. I began to think to myself that I love clothes, make-up, and all things fashion too much to let my weight affect my business and passion. It was a place that I had never been before. And I didn’t like it . Something had to be done and I had to be the one to do it.

I have always known that I am good at what I do in the world of styling  and fashion, but I wanted my personality and expertise to match my image. It’s a package deal. I know how important branding is and it starts with your appearance especially in this industry. I didn’t want to start letting my physical insecurities overtake my passion and paralyze me from moving forward with my styling business.

My Turning Point……

“….I had just given up on myself.”

I remember being at work and having a conversation with my friend/co-worker and just being in a really sad place.  I was suffering from my marriage being in turmoil, dealing with my mother being in and out of the hospital and I was extremely overweight. The word I really want to use is “fat”.  And I say that because I was doing all of the things to my body that said that I just had given up on myself. I told her that I was ready to change my life. I was tired. I had so many great things going on in my life, but I was hopeless. I had a great job, great friends , working on my Ph.D (a dream come true) and financially things were looking up. But I was missing so much more inside. I was empty, hopeless, and didn’t want to live life like that.

“Me…depressed? Hell NO.”

I would avoid mirrors in my house and no longer wanted to do outside activities because I had gained so much weight. “How in the world did I let myself get here?” One thing I realized is that how you respond to life’s circumstances can take you to different places. Depression was something so foreign to me because I had always been funny, jovial, and an encourager to those around me. I can’t be the very person that I normally encourage. Me…depressed….hell no! But oh hell yes I was! I couldn’t shake it and didn’t realize that I was in that space. I wanted out.  And I wanted out, Quickly.

So during this moment, the Donnie McClurkin song stayed in my spirit *singing* “What do you do when you have done all you can…Stand”. I was ready to take a stand and change what I didn’t like seeing in the mirror and what I didn’t like feeling on the inside. I became tired of this dark cloud hovering over me every time I woke up. My spirit was troubled and I told God that I know this is not the life that I am supposed to live.  I said that I was changing  everything about my world that very day.  And I did.  My journey began in March 2013. Now 92lbs later, I rejoice, shine and release nothing but victory around me.  A New Me. A New Body. A New Spirit.

How I Did It (Part 2)…….NEXT BLOG POST

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11 thoughts on “On a Journey of a Natural High: The Weight Loss Journey of a Fashion Stylist (Pt.1)

    • dinjii says:

      Thank you so much. It has taken me months to get the courage to write this and become transparent. But it actually is helping me heal through this process by blogging about it. Thanks for reading. Please share my story with someone who needs it.

      Like

  1. Patty says:

    As someone who has also struggled with weight my whole life, I totally understand where you are coming from. It’s a daily struggle but the important part to remember is we keep going and work to achieve a better version of ourselves. Thank you for your honesty and know you are not alone.

    Like

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